


How Sweden and Egypt Became Friends

by VKatja



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Denmark and Turkey are being overprotective and stupid, and a whole lot of other characters, he's trying his best, reposted from fanfiction.net, someone please give Germany some authority juice, whale brothers being whale brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:40:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25423273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VKatja/pseuds/VKatja
Summary: On a warm meeting day, Sweden makes a new friend. But neither of their family is very much in agreement with their blossoming relationship.This is crack, written just for fun when trying to figure out the weirdest possible ship. Contains lowkey SwEgypt and TurkDen, and two nearly naked hot dads.
Relationships: Denmark & Sweden (Hetalia), Denmark & Turkey (Hetalia), Sweden & Egypt (Hetalia)
Kudos: 11





	How Sweden and Egypt Became Friends

Sweden's eyes skimmed over the room. The rythmic pat-pat of his fingers on the table was probably the most interesting thing coming out of this meeting. Sweden had stopped counting the number of nations getting in a fight around the large table.   
Next to him, Iceland had given up on the meeting as well, headphones in and phone in his hands. Sweden glanced at the screen and quickly regretted it. Iceland's music tastes were definitely not something he understood, but considering who his brother was, Sweden didn't question it.  
Talking about his brother, Norway was actively strangling Denmark, holding him back from jumping to the help of his good friend Netherlands who was being scolded by his own siblings for something Sweden didn't care to know.   
The sound of a meowing cat attracted Sweden's attention to the other side of the room. Greece and the Ottoman Em… - no, Turkey, Sweden corrected himself - Greece and _Turkey_ were arguing loudly, even though they weren't quite loud enough to be heard over Germany's desperate attempts to get the meeting back on track.  
Sweden's eyes stopped on a nation between Greece and Turkey. He felt somewhat familiar, but Sweden couldn't recognize him. His nametag identified him as Egypt and Sweden mentally nodded. He hadn't seen him for maybe half a century, and certainly never spoken to him, but he seemed like a calm person - a very enjoyable person in these circumstances. Plus, he was petting a cat, which was always a nice bonus.  
Egypt looked up and he seemed to notice Sweden looking at him. Embarrassed of being caught staring, Sweden blushed, which made Estonia - sitting on his other side - flinch and scoot away a little. Egypt's bored eyes moved to Denmark and Norway, and he nodded in understanding.   
Sweden nearly smiled.

Half and hour later, when it became obvious that Germany would start crying if they didn't calm down, they called off the meeting for the day. This time, the meeting was held in Morrocco and the nations ran off the minute they could to go to the beach, barely two streets away.   
Most of them had their swimming suit under their meeting clothes and by the time the Nordics reached the beach, coverered in sunscreen and holding umbrellas Finland had been smart enough to bring for them all despite Iceland's loud protests of "my swag will protect me" (Norway said it was a phase, and Sweden had never prayed so much for Norway to be right), half of the nations were playing in the blue water. The other half was setting up barbecues, picnic tables and beach towels.   
The moment Norway let go of Denmark's tie, he was in the water, splashing Belgium and Taiwan.  
"I'm gonna go find Hong and Sey," Iceland muttered, scurrying away before Norway could stop him.  
"Mr Nor, can you come help me?" Finland called.  
He had apparently fallen in a hole someone had dug earlier. It was too warm for Sweden to deal with this, and Norway would do just fine on his own.  
Something fluffy touched Sweden's legs. He looked down to find Egypt's cat rubbing itself against his leg. Sweden picked it up.  
"Hey there, where's your owner?" he meant to say, though it probably came out a little differently. Sweden was not very good at speaking cat, or any language that was not Swedish, for that matter.  
"I believe that's my cat," a voice said.  
Sweden turned around. Egypt was standing behind him. His clothes looked far more adapted to the weather than Sweden's. It was most likely due to the experience. Sweden's experience with heat stopped at saunas and it didn't help to learn how to dress.  
"Sorry," he muttered, putting the cat down.  
Egypt shook his head.  
"She likes being petted."  
He grabbed a bag of chips from the basket he carried.  
"Do you want any? These are Turkey's, he won't notice."  
Sweden and Egypt sat on the warm sand, eating quietly as they watched the other nations running around, playing in the water and even burning sausages, for some. Very few words were exchanged, it wasn't needed. Being with Egypt was nice. The silence felt comfortable, there was no need for useless conversations, they just knew.  
Sweden closed his eyes, enjoying the sand between his toes and the taste of Greece's sandwich. Of course, it couldn't last, and the peace was interrupted by a loud shout.  
Two, actually.  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BROTHER?!" Both Turkey and Denmark yelled.  
Sweden opened his eyes. Dripping from head to toes, both nations were running towards them, sending sand flying on nearby towels, much to the annoyance of their owners.  
"DON'T YOU DARE RUIN EGYPT'S INNOCENCE WITH YOUR MESSED UP NORDIC TRADITIONS!" Turkey screamed, his face red with anger.  
"Hey!" Iceland complained, sitting a few meters away with Hong Kong, Seychelles and Norway.  
"Not you, of course," Turkey said with an affable smile.  
"Yeah, that's better."  
"Hold on, hold on," Denmark frowned. "Sweden isn't going to do anything to Egypt. I'm more worried about your crazy southerner cults!"  
"Cults?" Turkey scoffed. "You mean skull worshipping and other demonic things that you Nordics - not you, kiddo - like to do?"  
"I've been to Egypt's house before! I don't want my little brother to end up locked up in one of his weird triangle jails!"  
Sweden nearly facepalmed. Sometimes, he wondered if Denmark's lack of culture was done on purpose.  
From the corner of his eye, he noticed Norway and Iceland sitting up, looking interested. Things were never good when these two looked interested.  
The argument seemed to escalate between Denmark and Turkey and their accusations made less and less sense.  
"EGYPT IS TOO YOUNG!"  
"SWEDEN MIGHT NOT LOOK LIKE IT BUT HE'S ONLY A THOUSAND YEARS OLD, HE'S A BABY AND I WON'T LET YOU CORRUPT HIM!"  
Turkey let out an offended gasp.  
"How _dare_ you?!"  
The first punch was frankly expected. Turkey grabbed Denmark under his arm, trying to pin him down. Denmark caught his head and threw him over his shoulder. His victorious laugh died in his throat as Turkey's leg hit the back of his knees and he fell face first in the sand. He got up on his elbows, spitting out sand and even a seashell.  
Denmark and Turkey started wrestling on the sand, shouting insults in every language they knew, attracting the attention of every nation around. They cheered loudly, motivating even more the two idiots rolling on the sand. Denmark's skin was getting a little red and Sweden was certain that he would come home with several sunburns.  
Wordlessly, Egypt offered Sweden another sandwich.   
Denmark's head was stuck under Turkey's knee, but Turkey's neck was held by Denmark's leg, and he was starting to turn blue. Sweden glanced at Iceland who looked like he was having more fun than he had had in years, filming the whole thing. Sweden was glad that he hadn't been the one raising him, because if that was how he treated his father figures, Sweden didn't want to be one of them.  
When he looked back at Denmark and Turkey, their position had dramatically changed. Turkey was crushing Denmark's face under his chest, and Denmark didn't look all that bothered. He nodded as well as he could with a very serious face and tapped Turkey's abs with his finger.  
"That's a nice bod you've got here," Denmark said, looking appreciative.   
"Thanks, you're not too bad yourself," Turkey admitted, freeing Denmark.   
"Aren't I?" the latter replied, wiggling his eyebrows.   
He flexed his arm and pointed at it with his other hand.   
"See that?" he asked, as Turkey pressed on the bumpt of his biceps with the same look of respect on his face.  
"I see."  
"Wii Sport Resort."  
Turkey nodded and lifted his leg up.   
"Feel that calf. That's Wii Fit."  
They high-fived. Behind them, the little Cyprus and Sealand stared at them, looking somewhere between confused and horrified.  
Both men got up, showing off some more muscles no one else cared about. The crowd of nations diminished by a good half, the fight finished.  
"Wait a second," Turkey told Denmark. "It can look even better. Egypt?"  
Sighing quietly, Egypt grabbed a bottle in the basket and threw it at Turkey who opened it with a loud POP and showed the inside to Denmark.  
"Oh, _yes_ ," Denmark whispered.  
He took the bottle, emptying the oil in it with a reverence close to worship on Turkey's head, chest and back.  
"Yes, yes, yes. That looks _gooooood_."  
Turkey flexed proudly in every possible position, Denmark nearly drooling, kneeling next to him.  
"Norway- Norway, can you _see_ that? That's what a _real_ man looks like."  
Norway didn't even bother to reply, he just quietly handed a bill to a triumphant-looking Iceland.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.  
> Actually I'm not. I really enjoyed writing that. It's also published on ff.net but I rewrote it slightly before putting it here because I can't believe how many spelling errors and other very avoidable mistakes I forgot to correct on the other version.


End file.
